Posts tagged ‘NICU’

NICU Pics (WW)

I found these in my old cell phone today. These are from the NICU.

Brand Nizzle

I got an invitation in the mail today for Kyson’s NICU reunion!!! How fun. I had always heard they did that but I didn’t expect it really. But then again, Greenville has a big NICU. I’m so excited to see how some of the other babies are doing and I really really want to see his nurses…. Well, SOME of them. I cannot wait!

I had a box full of mail today and it was raining so the mail lady put it in my car and left a note in the mailbox haha. Still no shovel and pail but everything else is here including a stuffed Blue doll I bought for decoration but his little eyes lit up when he saw her so I gave it to him. Got my new Fuzzibunz and it’s pretty but I’m running out of colors. I’ve decided I like them best of all. And Blueberry.

I got Kyson and put him in our bed for a little bit this morning. He crawled over to Kyle who was still asleep and smacked him in the head a few times and said “up daddy!!” It was so funny. So I guess that was his first sentence. And yesterday I gave him a spoon and let him watch me cook. He had a blast. I’m about to go to ToysRUs and Target for a looking-spree cause I’m broke.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Brand New,

Hi! You music helps me through my angry days. Especially Your Favorite Weapon. It was my favorite CD in high school. I remember going into my room after SO many bad days and blasting Seventy Times 7 or Mixtape, screaming at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I still do that. My heart skips a beat when I hear the first note. Kyle loses his hearing for three days after we drive with you in my playlist. You got me through so much bullshit and continue to do so. I love you.


After watching NICU again this morning, I still don’t know why to think of it. The first one that came on was alot like Kyson because he was a mixture of both babies. But the second one that came on was kind of a let down. It seemed like it was more about c-sections and the mothers’ size, not the actual NICU. Like it was trying to pin the blame somewhere. You don’t have to do something wrong to have a premature labor. I was fat AND my pregnancy was perfectly normal up to that point. I’m not diabetic and I dont have high blood pressure. Maybe I picked up something too heavy, who knows. But if I did know I’d prolly feel like crap. And another thing I noticed is all of these babies weren’t all that early. And the way they showed it made it look so seemless. Very unrealistic. It also makes me wonder if a 36 weeker was still sick enough to stay a few weeks, maybe Kyson was smaller than I realize. I mean, I never look at him an say he’s so tiny, I look at other babies an say “look how fat!!” I hope we get to see some really early babies next week. So until then I can’t tell you if it’s good or not because I haven’t decided.

PTSD – Can It Really Be?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It brings about visions of disabled veterans. It feels silly and selfish to think of yourself as having mental issues after a premature birth. But you just feel like something isn’t right. You sit around all day thinking about it. You become obsessed with it. The littlest things can send you back to those days and can bring about bad memories and many sleepless nights. One night, I freaked out because my mom’s microwave sounds like the feeding tube machine beeping.

Last night, I finally got the ovaries to type in “nicu” and “PTSD” on google. I felt silly. But sure enough, there were plenty of articles to choose from. One in particular was from the New York Times called ‘For Parents On NICU, Trauma May Last’. I felt a little better knowing that it is becoming more accepted that parents of NICU graduates ARE prone to acute stress and post traumatic stress disorders.

Experts say that the parents of these babies often go through multiple traumas. The first being the birth itself. Labor and delivery is scary enough as it is. Premature birth is unexpected. You don’t know if your baby will make it or not. You’re not even sure if you’re okay or not. What if something goes wrong? You don’t have the time to really prepare for becoming a parent. You’re just kind of thrown into it. The whole nine months is a growing process for you as well as the baby.

The second trauma is seeing your child go through pain and enduring life threatening diseases and struggles to do what most people take for granted. You witness your fragile little baby undergo frightening procedures and you see the other infants around you going through them as well. The NICU is a sad, cold, and lonely place where the sound of both infants and parents crying is always to be heard.

The third and final trauma is recieving serial bad news. Your child will be doing good one day and when you come in the next morning, something has gone wrong. It’s not like other forms of trauma where the event happens only once and it’s over and you have to deal with it. With a preemie, everytime you see your baby, the experience comes up again.

Post Traumatic Stress may take the form of nightmares or flashbacks. Sometimes the parent feels anxiety over the beeping of the monitors, refuses to visit the unit, or even emotionally distances themself from the child. Over time, they develop depression, anxiety, insomnia, numbness, anger, and agression.

People with adequate social support networks report less stress and overall improved mental health in comparison to those without adequate social contacts. Many times, we don’t know where to turn to because we feel that unless you’ve been through the NICU, you don’t understand. So we hold it inside and try to keep it together for our family’s sake. But if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy… in the long run of course. That’s why we need places like and friends to talk to. And doctors, if that helps. That’s why I’ve started this blog. Don’t hesitate to seek help and find closure in whatever way you can. Find people that have been there and those who are going through it now and hold their hand. It’s hard. It takes time. And it will get better. It has to. : ) We have to, for ourselves and for our children. God bless the preemie moms. ❤

If you think you may have PTSD,take this quick, four question assessment.

Team Kyson

After my water broke at 31 weeks, I was put on hospital bedrest and given shots of steroids to speed up his lung maturity. And exactly a week later on October 17, 2009 at 32 weeks, I was blessed with my son Kyson Aidan. He was born weighing 4 lbs 15oz, most of which was due to my own size being pretty fluffy. I only got to see him for a few seconds before they rushed him to the NICU for me to not see for about 24 hours. As most parents will tell you, the NICU experience is a rollercoaster ride. The first time I saw him he was under bililights because of his jaundice. He was hooked up to fluids and had a tube in his nose for feeding.

When he turned 34 weeks, he was gradually given bottles in place of his tube feedings. Also that night, they decided that he was finally well enough to come off the bililights. And on Halloween, he was finally put into a crib and I got to feed him his bottle for the first time!! The March of Dimes also let us borrow tiny Halloween costumes and took the babies’ pictures. It was so fun! Then on November 4th, they took out his feeding tube and he was discharged the next day weighing 5 1/2 pounds.

Now Kyson is 5 months old and weighs 12 pounds. He might be small for his age but he’s keeping up just fine when it comes to milestones. He’s even learning to sit up already and LOVES eating greenbeans!!!

Please help our team help other babies born too early or sick so they can come home. Prematurity rates are rising and these babies deserve all the help they can get.

Magnesium Suckfate

So to make a long story short for everyone, my water broke 2 months early and i got put in greenville memorial because they have a super awesome icu for babies because they thought he would be too small to do for himself. So i have been on bedrest since mon. Trying to hold him off long enough to give him steroids for his lungs then they let me go last night and he was born at 11:24 and weighs 4lbs 15oz. Came out screaming and the only thing that hes hooked up to are monitors and an iv just to make sure hes eating good so he can grow and maybe come home this next week. The only down side is that i dont get to see him until later tonight because im still hooked up to magnesium sulfate just to make sure my blood pressure recovers and it makes me woozy so i got to stay in bed. Kyle says he cooed at him a little last night so im a little jealous… But it wont be long i guess and i’ll be up walking around. So keep little Kyson in your prayers so maybe he won’t be stuck in greenville all alone for so long. Love you all, Amanda

Tag Cloud