I’m snowed in. I’m not a wuss and yes, I HAVE seen snow before. I understand that we’ve been the butt of a lot of jokes this week. But I couldnt get out of my driveway to go to work today. I tried three times and almost side swiped my pear tree before giving up. This stuff is crazy. And yeah, it’s only a few inches but we just aren’t prepared for this stuff. It’s not that we can’t drive, though many of us can’t. The problem is that our state doesn’t have a reserve of salt or trucks that plow the roads. We’re used to mud puddles. Big sloppy red ones. You Northerners can’t expect us to be any more prepared than you would be if you walked outside tomorrow and found a beach. Would you have a bikini and a pair of skis ready? Come on now… You people vacation here. Your grandparents retire here. It’s supposed to be hot!!! Ok I’m done. 🙂
I signed our team up to March for Babies again this year. And I notice that certain people are beginning to rolls their eyes a bit. I’ve been told that Kyson is better now, so why worry about it. Ugh. But I will keep going. Because I want to help babies. Kyson wasn’t in the Nicu for very long and I feel very fortunate, but I wouldn’t want to see another child suffer.
Maybe my heart’s too big. Maybe I’ve still got a touch of depression about it. Maybe I know that if I don’t, who will? Should I leave it up to next unsuspecting mama? I have a friend in Ronald McDonald house right now! I do this for her. I do this for the babies who haven’t even been born or conceived yet. For the mamas who never got to meet their babies. For the mamas who were told “I’m sorry. There’s nothing else we can do”.
It’s not about me.
Well we did it. Isabel is helping and like a light switch, here come people to help. I’m so happy. And people wanted bracelets as soon as I put a pic up too.
But I remembered today that there is another almost equally important preemie in my life that hadn’t crossed my mind yet because she’s all grown up… My mommy. Just like Kyson, she was born weighing only 4lbs on the day of her baby shower. How odd is that!!! Except you gotta think, this was in 1966. I’m quite sure at that point in time it was a lot harder to make it in the NICU. What a miracle it is that she should even be here! My Granny used to carry her around on a pillow and my Papa could hold her in one hand. My Granny Dockery wouldn’t even talk about her for the longest time because she didn’t think she would live. Her birthday is on the 28th this month. So in a way I’m walking for my mom as well as with her. I guess that’s why she connects with Kyson like she does. It’s an odd story really. There are alot of odd stories concerning Kyson’s birth but I’ll save that for another day. Yay for my mommy!!!
The fight for preemies is apparently an uphill battle. I must say, I’m getting a little discouraged. No one really seems to care. I guess everyone has things to worry about but I really didn’t think I would be this ignored by people I call friends and supposed family members. But I don’t really care if I only have $20. I’m walking. I just wish I could make everyone care. I mean this is serious. It kills more people (babies for Gods sake!!!) than breast cancer, it’s the number one killer of babies in the world and it is the cause of 50% of birth defects like cerebral palsy and down syndrome and respiratory problems!! Not to mention the costs to the families. The total hospital bill in the US for ONE year equaled $18.1 BILLION! That is insane!!!! The average new born’s hospital stay is around $2000 while the average NICU baby’s bill is 77,000. Kyson cost us $112,000 which was paid by insurance thank God but he was only there for 17 days. Think how much it would cost for a micropreemie or a baby with major health problems. Take that and the extra care that they need, the special food, equipment and you’ve got a pretty big bill. That’s enough to make any parent nut up. Like me. I wouldn’t call it post traumatic but I’m scared to death of getting pregnant again. I have birth control and condoms and Im still paranoid. I don’t want it to happen again. It’s very scary. I believe I will always have emotional problems because of it. I just can’t handle it. I cry everytime I think about it. And that’s another thing MOD does. They provide support and materials in the NICU that help you understand what happens there, what all the tubes and machines do, gave us books to mark milestones in…. they even helped us celebrate Halloween by providing the entire NICU with costumes and they dressed them up and took their pictures. I guess I just owe them so much and I really want people to see how much they do for people. I mean, these people got it going on. They singlehandedly cured Polio and then looked around and said…. Well what can we cure now? That is amazing!!!
March is coming up. Kids in schools across the united states will bring a dollar to school so they can wear a hat. Teachers will wear blue jeans on Fridays. I never cared much for hats so I never gave any money. Little did I know that years down the road, I would need to dip into that big bucket Mrs Chapman held in the halls at school faithfully almost everyday. So many times I’d walk pass and never really understood what the big deal was.
No one really pays that much attention to the March of Dimes. Sure, it’s trendy to give to Cancer research. Sometimes fashionable when they make those cute pink teeshirts with the words “feel your boobies” on them. But does anyone ever think about babies fighting for their lives in a hospital bed?? Let me rephrase that…. In a box where in many cases their mommies can’t hold them and where they have tubes in their noses because they can’t eat. And tubes in their throats cause they can’t breathe. And tubes in their arms to pump fluids into them. Hooked up to a machine that beeps every couple of minutes when the baby stops breathing or their heart rate goes up. Left under lamps with no clothes on to try and get rid of the jaundice that could so easily require them a blood transfusion or worse, give them brain damage. A little person so fragile and precious, weighing mere ounces or just a few pounds. Babies who are sick or born with diseases. They could be there for days…. weeks…. months and still need help even after they’re sent home. An innocent life that is already threatened so soon after it is born. What about the babies?
It’s such an unforgettable moment when after nine long months, you are handed a healthy screaming baby. Hearing your child cry for the first time was the happiest moment of your life. You looked down at that tiny face and knew that you would give everything you had for that little baby. Unfortunatly, many of us don’t have that picture perfect experience. Our children are taken away to an ICU where we aren’t even allowed more than glance before they are gone. There’s no bonding, no cuddling, no dad cutting the cord. In many cases you’re not even able to really see them until midnight the next day. Now isn’t that a cause worth fighting for? It is the most painful thing that I have ever been through. That’s why for the whole month of March I’m really going to do my best to make sure everyone is more aware of March of Dimes. You never know when it will happen to you.