Archive for the ‘NICU’ Category


Last night was Kyson’s NICU reunion. I was up early and had planned on having everything ready in time but you know how that usually goes. I was washing diapers so Kyson had a disposable on. I stuck him in his packnplay so I could take a shower. As soon ad I got out I heard him squeeling and laughing. I walked in there to see what was going on and I found him butt naked standing up saying “dook” (look). Another good reason to use cloth… They can’t figure out the snaps.

So back to the story. I had his bag packed and everything ready to go. I was going to swing by and grab an SD card on the way out of town. We got going and the stupid train was coming but the truck in front of us stopped. Personally, I would have gunned it. We only sat there for a few minutes but when you’re running behind, everything takes forever and everyone decides to drive slow.

I finally made it to Rite Aid because I knew they would have them. Ran in, grabbed the cheapest (overpriced) one and ran to the car. Only to find that my camera doesn’t like it. I just bought it a year ago so it should still take modern day SD cards. I figured I was doing good as long as I wasn’t using a disposable but I guess I was wrong. But no time for that, we’re already late and have to drive a whole hour to get there.

We finally got to the hospital at 5:45 and it ended at 7. I don’t care. I love this place. We got him in and it was so much bigger than I had imagined. There were so many people there. We saw Tigger and Pooh and Dr. Bear and lots of clowns (eek!) but we never saw any of our nurses or doctors. But I did get to talk to the March of Dimes representative and guess how many dimes were in a bottle. They weren’t shaken up really good so I tried to be smart guess how many rolls I saw and do the math until Kyle just picked a random number and I said okay.

Kyle was still kind of coughing but he’s not sick. But everyone acted like he had the plague. I don’t blame them. I would too. If only my friends knew how much I cleaned and sanitized after they left. It would probably hurt their feelings. [ Kyle’s peeking through the blinds with me screaming “are they gone yet?” *spray spray…wipe…squirt, wipe again* “We need more Lysol!!” ] Then we sat down and ate some chicken strips and grapes and by the time we were done, it was 7 and everyone was leaving. So we just walked around for a while since that’s all I really wanted to do anyway.

“You miss it, don’t you?” he randomly asked. I guess it must have been pretty obvious for Mr. Brown to pick up on it. I shrugged and said “yeah, you do too don’t you?” He said it was like a vacation and I joked it was the best hotel he ever stayed in. But deep down you could tell he really meant what he said. He missed it just as much as I did.

I remember standing at the NICU door looking down over the balcony, six floors to where we were sitting now at that fountain and seeing the mothers holding their babies and being so jealous. Now I was looking up trying to find the place where I used to stand. It was more meaningful coming back there than it would be to go any places we dated or our honeymoon or where he proposed because it was a place that made US stronger.

But it was getting late and though I really didn’t want to go, we had to. He finally told me we had to leave now if he was going to buy me that skunk costume for Kyson. And I went willingly. It’s his second Halloween, but his first real one. And I want it to be awesome.

Yup, that’s my boo right there. The really red kid with Jaundice

30th annual NICU reunion


And It Feels So Good

I get to go back to Greenville tomorrow! I’m so excited!!! I think I have an emotional attachment to that place. I can’t wait to get over there and see the water fountain I sat at in the big purple chairs every night during shift change. I want to smell the sanitizer and the cafeteria food. Feel the cool breeze in the parking lot. I want Kyson to see the huge tropical fish tank in the Children’s Hospital lobby and the player piano in the main lobby. I want to sit in the Cancer wing and read old copies of Watchtower. It just feels like… I don’t know… Like I’m visiting an old friend. It was really almost like mine and Kyle’s last big adventure where we were parents but still weren’t at the same time because we left empty handed every night. And I loved the talks we had riding home in the dark listening to Tony Evans on the radio. Eating Chic-fil-a every night cause the cafeteria was already closed when we finally got there after all the other parents had went home.

I miss having to push the button at the NICU door “to see the Brown baby” and practically take a bath in the sink before you came in. I miss my trusty Medela cooler/lunchbox thingy I had to drag around everywhere with Lisa Frank ice packs tucked around my precious milk cargo. (Heck yes! Lisa Frank!) All the bags I had to stuff into the little bitty work truck and ride all cramped up because it was either that or the mustang with no radio. And me with high water sweatpants and a pair of big ol white Vans looking like Forrest Gump sitting on the benches outside. Waddling around and drinking coke like no tomorrow. (I missed caffeine like woah)

Sometimes when I’m at my Mom’s I’ll go into my brother’s old room and sniff the air because it still smells like fresh paint and new carpet, just like it did when I was staying there so my mama could take care of me afterwards. I’m weird like that but I am SO freaking excited about tomorrow I could cry!!!! I’m going to take pictures too. That way I’ll always remember. I may never be back. (Hopefully)

Brand Nizzle

I got an invitation in the mail today for Kyson’s NICU reunion!!! How fun. I had always heard they did that but I didn’t expect it really. But then again, Greenville has a big NICU. I’m so excited to see how some of the other babies are doing and I really really want to see his nurses…. Well, SOME of them. I cannot wait!

I had a box full of mail today and it was raining so the mail lady put it in my car and left a note in the mailbox haha. Still no shovel and pail but everything else is here including a stuffed Blue doll I bought for decoration but his little eyes lit up when he saw her so I gave it to him. Got my new Fuzzibunz and it’s pretty but I’m running out of colors. I’ve decided I like them best of all. And Blueberry.

I got Kyson and put him in our bed for a little bit this morning. He crawled over to Kyle who was still asleep and smacked him in the head a few times and said “up daddy!!” It was so funny. So I guess that was his first sentence. And yesterday I gave him a spoon and let him watch me cook. He had a blast. I’m about to go to ToysRUs and Target for a looking-spree cause I’m broke.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Brand New,

Hi! You music helps me through my angry days. Especially Your Favorite Weapon. It was my favorite CD in high school. I remember going into my room after SO many bad days and blasting Seventy Times 7 or Mixtape, screaming at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I still do that. My heart skips a beat when I hear the first note. Kyle loses his hearing for three days after we drive with you in my playlist. You got me through so much bullshit and continue to do so. I love you.


After watching NICU again this morning, I still don’t know why to think of it. The first one that came on was alot like Kyson because he was a mixture of both babies. But the second one that came on was kind of a let down. It seemed like it was more about c-sections and the mothers’ size, not the actual NICU. Like it was trying to pin the blame somewhere. You don’t have to do something wrong to have a premature labor. I was fat AND my pregnancy was perfectly normal up to that point. I’m not diabetic and I dont have high blood pressure. Maybe I picked up something too heavy, who knows. But if I did know I’d prolly feel like crap. And another thing I noticed is all of these babies weren’t all that early. And the way they showed it made it look so seemless. Very unrealistic. It also makes me wonder if a 36 weeker was still sick enough to stay a few weeks, maybe Kyson was smaller than I realize. I mean, I never look at him an say he’s so tiny, I look at other babies an say “look how fat!!” I hope we get to see some really early babies next week. So until then I can’t tell you if it’s good or not because I haven’t decided.

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