Longing for Autumn

Call me crazy but I feel the sun changing. I’m not saying it’s going to get cold next week but the days are getting shorter. August is here and school started back today so summer is pretty much over anyways. It’s just a matter of time. This rain all week will cool it down and hopefully by the time it passes, all this 100 degree heat will be gone.

I think I may be finding out what microterry stinkies smell like. Help me. 😦

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I need to forgive myself for not being there for my grandpa when he was dying. Granted, I never knew how bad off he was because my grandma tried to keep him isolated for reasons still unknown to me. So I never knew that he was dying, I just thought he was sick and didn’t take it seriously. I was scared to go to the hospital alone so I just never went. The last memory I will ever have of him is the most horrible thing ever. He died of congestive heart failure in his living room with all of us watching. He couldn’t talk but you could tell he was trying to. He didn’t want to die. He was put on hospice and killed by my grandma in my honest opinion, but you could never prove it. I think that one person’s life shouldn’t always hang in another person’s hands, no matter the relationship they have. She hated him but no one knew it but us. My mom went to visit him in the hospital one day and she would hit him when the doctor wasn’t looking and begged for someone to help him when she wasn’t around. That’s why I hate her. I could write a book with all the secrets I know. Or even better, a soap opera. Hard to believe that there could be so much that goes on in my seemingly boring little life that I could never tell a soul about. It’s hard keeping it all in. I guess that’s why I have a blog.


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