The older Kyson gets, the further I fall from writing here. I guess I feel like I’m not really in the “NICU Scene” (if that’s what you would call it) any more. He’s small but doing wonderfully. He’s a 2 year old genius in 1 year old jeans. Perfect.But recently I’ve noticed that my numbers on facebook are steadily growing with several people still reading my posts every day. I’d like to think that even though I’ve moved on with things that I still help someone from time to time to cope with their fears. What we all really need in a time like this is support. Someone to talk to and tell us that it’s all going to be alright. That they can make it through this and live a somewhat normal life.

I forget sometimes that Kyson was ever so small. It feels like a lifetime ago. But I just wanted to say that I’m still here and I still care deeply about the littlest ones. I didn’t mean to neglect you guys. I just didn’t know you were still here. I will be stopping by more often, even if it is just to share a quote, a photo, or a story about our day.  I needed you then and you got me through some tough days. Hopefully I can do the same.


Oh my GOSH I suck at this these days. The terrible twos are upon us. Kyson’s birthday was yet another flop. I can’t wait until he has his own friends so they can come and he can have fun. Not to mention, the whole in-law showdown where Kyle’s herd sat on one side and mine on the other and they didn’t speak. But I wasn’t really expecting much else.

My mom DID set her stove on fire cooking popcorn for the party…. Like, 10 minutes after my firefighter dad left and just before my firefighter brother got there. Pretty ironic. She had to call the fire dept. Hilarious!

And I had the second or third (I’m not sure) biggest scare of my life Thursday. Kyson started choking really really bad and screaming “mouth!” I had no idea what was going on. I was on the potty and heard him scream in between gasps. I freaked out. So I ran out into my yard with no pants, in the rain, screaming for help. (It’s okay to laugh. That’s pretty funny.) Finally got my mil on the phone and she walked—yes, walked—up to my house to help. I just thank god he finally swallowed what I found out yesterday was a hexagonal nut as big around as a dime, from who knows where. Reality check. Maybe he’s not as responsible as I thought. I guess I’ll have to resort back to drawing cats and smiley faces on the bathroom wall with a crayon so I can keep him in my sight when I gotta go.

November is prematurity awareness month. And I’m not doing anything special this year. Sorry, too busy. 😦

Love and hugs to all the preemies… You’ve come a long way, baby!


I’m Baaaaack

Sooooooo. I got internet!! Yay. It took forever to get it out here. We had to call almost everyone in existence. Some said our road didn’t exist and others just blew us off because we live so far out. We ended up with HughesNet. It’s a little more expensive, but they come to the boondocks and it’s actually pretty speedy.

I’m aweful at keeping up with the blog. But hopefully if I’m not too lazy, I’ll be back for good this time. (Promises, promises)

Kyson’s birthday is in a week. He’s gonna be two! Can you believe it?? I’m having a hard time with it really. Like, I cry when I put him to sleep and stuff. It’s just sinking in that he’s not really a baby anymore. 😦 He LOVES tractors. So we are going to have a tractor party at my family’s farm. We’re gonna paint pumkins and have a hay ride on the tractor. I’m so excited. I will post pictures later this week.

Ta-ta for now.

Thank You Mr. Eisenhower

We live in a small town, so if you need something or get bored you cross the state line to the next town over. We went there to get Kyle some new glasses and me some Halloween fabric. There are two ways to get there. The first is the scenic route on the main roads. The second is by interstate.

We ended up going on the interstate; the same drive we used to make every single day to go see Kyson in the nicu. As we came off the ramp and merged into traffic, we both got kinda excited. Almost two years have passed and we still feel the energy on that patch of road. I don’t even actually THINK about why, I just feel it. It’s love and happiness. It’s freedom. It’s like Christmas morning. And the only thing that makes it even better is that Bitty is sitting next to me saying “ooh wee!” when a big truck drives past.

Green Insides

I’m not really sure how many of you are into this sort of thing but here goes….

I just washed my hair with baking soda and vinegar. It’s called No ‘Poo and so far, I love it. Add that to my already growing list of green products and you’ll notice that these are inwardly green things-Things that not only help the environment, but more importantly reduce the toxins that come in contact with my family.

I’m one of those Chicken Little types. The sky is always falling. And there is always something out there trying to kill me or make me sick. But I never realized how much our skin takes in the things around us. How else would nicotine patches work?

Our skin is one great big organ. Starting with cloth diapers for Kyson, I then moved on to cloth pads… Which are AWESOME! I’ve noticed lighter, happier, less crampy periods ever since. Then I switched to natural deodorant and now shampoo. I remember going on my diet last year and how my shampoo/conditioner actually made me gain weight. It’s true!

The crazy thing is that my hair looks healthier and shiner after just one wash. It looks so good, my mom just made her own shampoo this morning!

I’m really excited about this change that I’m making. I’m hoping to reduce my family’s risk of cancer and other related diseases. I was wondering if you too might be up to the challenge. I’d love for my friends to try this with me or share other ways they’ve eliminated toxins in their lives. No judgement, no crunchier than thou attitude- just positive changes. I look forward to hearing from you!

Licking Paintbrushes

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a wuss. Like, I talk about how hard things were for me (and don’t get me wrong they were) but were they really all that bad? I didn’t die. Though at one point I thought I was going to. And there were plenty of times I wondered about Kyson. But any time someone brings it to my attention I feel awkward. I’m neither a superhero nor a dainty flower. But I am terrified. There are worse things that could have happened and we were very fortunate, I know. It’s just that everything scares me.

I check him constantly to see if he is still breathing while he sleeps. I’ve just now got to the point where I feel comfortable letting him out of my grip to walk in the yard on his own. I chop his food into microscopic pieces and still freak out anytime he even makes an unfamiliar gesture while he’s eating it.

But he isn’t afraid of anything. He rides his four wheeler standing up. He’s not afraid of talking to people he doesn’t know. He climbed to the top of a slide at the playground Sunday with no help except Kyle running behind him and slid down a slide that’s as tall as I am.

But I guess that’s how I want him to be. That way I know he won’t be scared to do the things he wants to do. He’ll be as free spirited as I wish I was. He’ll probably break a few bones at some point. But he can be my little superman and he will succeed later in life… As long as I get the courage to let go.

Made With Love

If you’re like me, you love handmade goodies. Well I am taking part in the Made with Love Event taking place July 18-24th. Not as a blogger, but as a sponsor!

It’s a really cool thing my friend, Michelle is doing with her blog along with three other ladies. It will be a week of reviews and giveaways featuring handmade items and the businesses who make them. So yay! You get a chance to win one of my diapers!

You should go check out the Made with Love Event. If you hurry, you may find a way to get extra entries. (:

The Not-So-Secret Confessions

Excuses, excuses

I disappear for a month or so then I come back. It’s a cycle, you see. I’ve been dealing with a whole bunch of drama that I won’t really get into. But to sum it up: I don’t have clean running water and someone in my family had a mental breakdown and found out they are bipolar then sprained their ankle two weeks later. It’s been exhausting. And I’ve had to cloth diaper because of money this week and not because I like them. I am broke. Ahhhhhh!

But things are returning to normal. I moved my work table into the living room so I could spend more time with Kyson. It also helps that I can kinda watch tv while I’m cutting and pressing snaps (the worst part). I’ve doubled my speed too. I’m like, super sewer now. So I’m pretty happy about that. I’m actually going to be doing an event for my friend Michelle on her blog. That’s exciting. I’m just waiting to hear back about my Nykibaby license. I hope I get accepted the first time. I’ve been working really hard to perfect my skillz. My anniversary is Thursday. Woot!

So as usual excuses, excuses.

Can I Get a Amen?

Times I hate baby monitors:

• When it makes weird noises
• When the batteries die
• When Kyson decides to play with his toys that have really loud music
• When I’m in the bed asleep
• When I’m in the bed NOT asleep
• On the toilet. Ugh.

Puppy Pads

Today was my last day at H&R Block until November. How could it possibly have been two months since I’ve wrote? I’m so happy I can get back to my wife and mother duties. I’m actually excited to clean my house. I started out in the bathroom today. Everything looks nice. I’ve ordered a bunch of cheap artwork from eBay this past week and it adds so much more character. I’m so proud.

I cleaned out the cabinets under our sinks and found a half used pack of puppy pads. I don’t know that I’ve ever shared this, but I used to have to sit on puppy pads when I was pregnant. My water was leaking so bad I slept on them. I lined the couch with them and took one with me everywhere I went. It’s kinda funny now but back then it wasn’t. I was miserable. But there they sit for some reason. I’m a pack rat. I hold on to everything like I might need them one day. Or maybe I’ll forget about something like that. But I’m getting better. I threw them away. But they’ve just been on my mind a lot today.

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